

“If you don’t speak up, you’re signaling that this is OK. There are good reasons to speak up, such as “preserving your own sense of integrity” and “ridding the workplace of racism,” notes Williams. Your initial goal is to make a rational decision, one that you’ll feel good about later on, for how to respond. “Personally, when I’ve let my emotions get the best of me, I didn’t get the results that I wanted,” she says.

Ask yourself why you are having the emotional response that you are, and give yourself time to feel those emotions before you decide what to do. She advises slowing down and thinking through what just happened. It’s a natural response when our humanity is denied,” says Tina Opie, a professor at Babson College. “When someone does something to violate your identity, you might get angry. It’s normal to feel mad, upset, or confused. Here’s some advice for the next time a colleague says something offensive and you’re wondering whether to act. “Telling people to wait 100 years while we address long-standing bias isn’t helpful,” she says. And yet, she acknowledges, people need to know how to respond in the moment. Keep in mind that the onus isn’t on you to fix gender or racial bias, says Ruchika Tulshyan, author of The Diversity Advantage: Fixing Gender Inequality In The Workplace. It’s normal to question yourself in these situations, wondering whether you heard the person right and whether you’re overreacting. Joan Williams, founding director of the Center for WorkLife Law at UC Hastings College of the Law, says that deciding how to respond is risky because it involves “two of the most corrosive elements of bias in the workplace”: the uncertainty of whether what you heard is bias and the fear that you might be penalized for how you handle it.

There’s no denying that this is a tough situation. What should you say or do if you find yourself in this situation? Is there a way to draw attention to the comment without making the situation worse? And are you risking your reputation, job, or career by speaking up? He thinks he’s just being funny, but the comment is inappropriate - maybe even offensive, sexist, or racist. Your colleague says something that immediately makes you feel uncomfortable. New expert perspectives were added to address those concerns. Editor’s Note: We revised this piece after several readers pointed out that the original version put the burden on the recipient of an offensive comment to address larger systemic biases.
